I have discovered a new tool in the struggle to bring siblings to a harmonious accord. I am speaking of that concept so often incorporated into films such as "Red Dawn," "Norma Rae," and "Rising Sun." Present them with a common enemy, something presented as so vile and contemptible, that only by combining their strenghs can they survive. In "Red Dawn" it was the evil Russian Empire, in "Norma Rae" it was the slave-driving management, and in "Rising Sun" it was the ambitious Japenese business community. It is with personal sacrifice that I provide this abomination to my children to help them foster a sense of camaraderie.

In my quest to be the supreme enemy, I have employed such tactics as mandatory bedtimes, performing household chores, and limiting their television. I didn't say it would be pretty. Brace yourselves, there's more. I have actually required my children to perform manual labor outside, in full view of the neighbors. While these are effective methods, the ultimate device is available to few mothers. It is the rare opportunity to be your child's classroom teacher. This occurs only in special situations. I teach eighth grade Algebre I and Computer Literacy. I was able to embarrass my son at will not once, but twice a day, for nine months. I have the authority to send them and their friends to detention. I must caution you, if this option is available to you, use it sparingly. It can be dangerous. My daughter hasn't been able to sympathize with him much. Yet. Her golden opportunity comes in two years.

You may ask how I know it works. I hear the whispers traveling across the hallway, from bedroom to bedroom, when bedtime is enforced. I see the synchronized eye-rolling when I insist they change their sheets. I feel the icy stares of two agitated adolescents when I suggest that an "R" rating excludes them from the audience. Do my kids love me? Certainly. Am I their friend? Of course. Would I be the subject of their English composition entitled "The Women I Most Admire"? Probably not.

Reprinted by San Diego G'raffitti